Growing up, I was a colorful child. We’re talking a child of the late 80s, early 90s whose only “fashion” rule was wear all the colors, all the patterns and all the spandex… Preferably at once. Seriously guys, I can’t believe my parents let me out of the house like that. I mean, I appreciate the free-spirited philosophy behind their decision, but I’m pretty sure all the other parents and/or kids must have thought I was parent-less or came from a household of blind people.
Of course, why stop there? I was SUCH a colorful child that I insisted I be given an equally colorful name. Something SO colorful that it would match my equally colorful personality. What was this FANTASTIC name that I came up with for myself, you ask? Before I tell you, we’re going to have to invoke the “judgement-free zone rule” because oh ho ho, it’s bad. Something-only-a-6-year-old-would-ever-want-to-be-called bad.
I wanted, so badly, to be named Crystal Sparkle Rainbow.
And no, it was NOT enough for my parents to simply call me that. No, I required a legal name change. Because that’s apparently what I spent my time thinking about as a 6 year.
My 6 year old brain simply could not fathom why my parents would not let me LEGALLY change my name to what can only be described the the most kick ass name of all time. And no, I clearly would not grow up to regret that decision, as I repeatedly told my parents.
Clearly, my parents held out against my incessant requests to legally change my name to something only a colorful 6 year old girl would come up with as I am clearly not named Crystal Sparkle Rainbow today.
But instead of becoming my real, legal name, Crystal Sparkle Rainbow became my colorful alter-ego. The one I channel when I’m buying my 10th jar of multi-colored sprinkles (Yes, I need them) or that pair of light up unicorn slippers that I WILL be buying for my cubicle at work because I am clearly a professional adult… and I do what I want. She’s that part of me that reacts to Letterpress Bakery’s so-cute-it-almost-hurts flamingo pool float cake the same way my cat reacts when I cook bacon (cat owners, you know exactly what I’m talking about). She’s the one that thinks “You know what this kitchen needs? A UNICORN pool float cake.”
And I gotta say, the girl’s not wrong. This kitchen needs a unicorn pool float cake… #Ain’tNoPartyLikeAPoolFloatCakeParty
- 3 layers of 6" cake ½" thick
- White fondant
- Tylose powder
- Black fondant
- Food gel colors in red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple
- Powdered gold food coloring
- Bamboo skewers
- Use a 1½" round cookie cutter to cut out the center of your layers of cake. Frost and stack the cake. Using a sharp knife, cut the outer and inner edges of the cake at a 45 degree angle to create rounded edges. Flip the cake over and repeat. Crumb coat the outside of the cake and set aside in the refrigerator to firm up.
- Roll out your fondant on a powder sugar-dusted surface to about 1cm thick. Using a ½" round cookie cutter, cut out the center. Roll your fondant up on a rolling pin and unroll it over your cake. Gently work the fondant down into the center of the cake and over and around the sides. It's ok if it doesn't go all the way down in the center of your cake. Cut off any excess around the bottom. Wrap a thin rope of fondant around the cake roughly half way down the sides and press it into the cake using a fondant tool or a butter knife.
- To make the horn of the unicorn, roll out a string of white fondant so that you have a thick end and a thin end. Wrap it around a bamboo skewer and set aside. Once the horn is firm, paint it with a mixture of powdered gold food coloring and a few drops of vodka.
- To make the head of the unicorn, start by kneading some tylose powder into your white fondant. Roll your fondant into a thick, long piece about 4 inches long. Bend the top ⅓ of the fondant over and gently work the end so that it's slightly thinner. Make sure to compare this piece to your cake to ensure that it'll fit on top. Smooth out both sides. Press two small pieces of fondant between your fingers and fold them in half to create ears. Press these onto the top of the unicorn's head. Insert a bamboo skewer into bottom of the neck until it runs almost the length of the fondant. Roll out a piece of black fondant and cut out two eyes (piping tips work well for this). Press them into either side of the head and use a little white food coloring or a small piece of white fondant to embellish the eye. Once the horn has dried, trim the bamboo skewer and press it into the head. Set aside to harden at least overnight.
- Color a small fistful of fondant red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple. Take a dime size piece of each color, press it together and roll it into the mane. Use a little water to glue it to the neck of your unicorn. To make the tail, roll out small pieces of your rainbow colored fondant so that they have a thick end and a thin end. Press these together (use water if you need to) and trim the ends. Shape the tail however you desire and allow to dry overnight.
- To assemble your cake, trim bamboo skewer for the head and insert it into one end of your cake. Insert a couple of toothpicks into the tail and insert that into the other end of the cake.